They Groaned at My Dinner Praise Round

Anyway, the praise round. Wednesday, a store chicken with the plastic lid still fogged, and me announcing to Caleb and Lily that nobody was picking up a fork until each of us had named one thing to praise. I went first so they'd have a model. My model was that I was grateful for the scriptures and for this family.

Caleb put his forehead on his wrist. That was the Sunday answer, he said, the one you give when you weren't listening. Lily said she didn't have one praise. She had a list, and it started with the pony-bead bracelet that snapped in her desk and left her six beads. Then I made my second mistake and ruled that complaints weren't allowed until the praise was done, and they both groaned at the rule. David came in about then, hung up his keys, served himself rice and left me the wreck. So I changed the question. One complaint each, then one good thing small enough that somebody else could have seen it. Caleb's complaint was a damp glove he'd left by the fence when the sprinklers came on, and his good thing was Owen from three doors down trading him the grape fruit snacks at lunch. Lily's good thing was a pink eraser that smelled like strawberry, lent with no sigh. Ben announced his noodles and was done.

Psalm 102 is in the same week

Come, Follow Me for August 31 through September 6 is titled Let Every Thing That Hath Breath Praise the Lord, and the Church News note posted the day before it started points out how often "praise ye the Lord" turns up in Psalms 146 through 150. That's the part you can lift out and carry to a table.

The same assignment includes Psalm 102, and the note sends readers to Psalm 102:1-11 for the Lord's comfort when you're suffering, the anxious and lonely kind of suffering. So the lesson itself puts a complaint right beside the praise and doesn't ask anyone to skip it. A kid who's had a rotten week of school belongs somewhere in that stack.

A lamp unto my feet

Everyone in my kitchen can say this one without the book.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

Psalm 119:105

It's about God's word, so it isn't a dinner game, and I wouldn't tell children it is. What it does say is that the light lands on the step you're standing on. A grumpy eleven-year-old can take a step that small. He can't take the whole hallway, and a verse that promises light for the path isn't a reason to demand that he see all of it before dessert.

So the lamp is the only piece worth borrowing for a table. Ask for something near and visible, a thing at the height of his shoes, and leave the far end of the day alone.

How do you teach kids to praise instead of complain?

Go first with something dull. A peach that was actually ripe, or a pan a neighbor returned the same week. If you open with your family and the gospel, a child who has sat through Primary will recognize the assignment and hand it straight back.

Let the complaint out before you ask for the good thing, and give it a full sentence. Nothing needs fixing yet, and you don't have to agree with it either. If the complaint is about a sibling, write it down in your head and take it up later, away from the plates. Then ask for a second sentence about something visible. If they offer a category and their face says they pulled it off a list, ask once which part of today they mean, and if they still want the category, take it.

A forced sorry fails the same way, with words coming out so a child can leave the room while nothing underneath had to be true, which is more or less where Psalm 51 and the sorry it never says landed.

Keep the whole thing near three minutes and change the question now and then, who helped you or what made you laugh or what tasted good, or it hardens into a script everyone recites without hearing. One dinner won't repair a month of complaining, and it shouldn't be judged on one night.

What about the toddler?

He can pass. A two-year-old doesn't owe anyone a sentence about God, so let him name what's on his plate or bang a spoon or eat with his hands, much like the toddler in Ben Eats Four Things and I Still Won't Cook a Second Dinner. Clap if a word comes out that you recognize.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is Come, Follow Me in the Psalms this week?

This week's reading is Psalms 102 and 103, Psalm 110, Psalms 116 through 119, Psalms 127 and 128, Psalms 135 through 139 and Psalms 146 through 150. A week of only the loud psalms would sit badly in plenty of kitchens a few weeks into school, so the anxious one in the middle helps.

What do the Psalms mean by praise?

Saying out loud what the Lord has done, His power and His mercy and the particular things. You don't have to feel bright first. Irritated is a fine mood to tell the truth in.

What if they roll their eyes?

Let the groan finish. If you can't stand the sound, skip the round for that night, because correcting them all dinner leaves cold food and no praise. When you can stand it, ask for something they could point at.

How old does a child need to be?

Old enough to complain in full sentences, which is usually school age. Younger children can sit at the table without taking a turn.

Is Psalm 119:105 supposed to be the activity?

No. Read it for what it says about God's word and the step you're on, and tell the kids you made up the dinner question yourself.

Tonight, then. Say a small true thing before anyone asks you to and let the first complaint finish. Set a timer for three minutes.

with love, Melissa